Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
