we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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