So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
