I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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