I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
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Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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