He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize