The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She's like a pop up book from hell.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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