Nicole vs. Life
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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