The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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