def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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