the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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