he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
