ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
