try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
