Why does Corona taste like a burp?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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