This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
