That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
