he wants to bone in the snuggie
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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