Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize