Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
