i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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