I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
