We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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