Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
