It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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