So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the day after is always just damage control
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
