What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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