Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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