I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize