no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
