I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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