So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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