i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
