i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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