I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize