Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
