wanna go halves on a baby?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
