There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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