is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
