I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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