dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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