I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
