I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
