how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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