Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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