Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize