Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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