We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize