whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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