put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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