If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
