Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
