He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
