My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
True strength comes from lack of pants
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
