Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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