he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
