Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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