I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
