I'm jealous of your bromance
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
