I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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