Sacagawea was the original milf.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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