Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
