rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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