he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
