just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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