The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
