We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
