i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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