I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
